I found my own freedom from the “do more, be more” mindset and the alcohol that seems to make the hustle easier, and now I’m here to share words of encouragement with you.
Cozy up with some tea for my reflections on finally, blessedly, living and loving life by simply figuring out the next right thing.
reformed people-pleaser, former gray-area drinker, and Senior Certified This Naked Mind Coach.
Did you know that the mind cannot hold two emotions at the same time? It’s one of the many reasons I love practicing celebration and appreciation. When I notice feelings of stress and discomfort, celebration and appreciation are go-tos for me in any given moment. They help ground me, keeping me from getting swept away by the thought swirls that will only strengthen my discomfort. Celebration and appreciation are also what I practice in the form of a celebration brainstorm on Fridays. On Friday mornings I start my day by reflecting on the week and celebrate where I see growth in my life, whether personally or professionally, spiritually or physically, or all the above.
Celebration is one of my favorite tools I use with clients for re-training the mind from the default mindset of lack and scarcity to abundance and fruitfulness. Shifting the mind from asking Qs that are looking for problems and end with me beating myself up—what have I not done, where have I gotten it wrong, where do I need to do better to now through practicing new and different Qs—where have I grown this week, what have I learned, what has supported me this week that I will continue using on this one beautiful life journey?
This shift makes all the difference in how I feel. Which makes every difference in how I show up in the world. It makes the difference in whether I’m showing up by default or showing up by design.
This past few weeks I’ve been celebrating being pushed outside of my comfort zone in a big way with the launch of my (with a good friend) very exciting creative project the But Jesus Drank Wine & Other Stories That Kept Us Stuck podcast.
To show up to record with nothing more than an idea for a chat, no real plan, no script, no structure, no notes (at least for these first five episodes when we dive deeper in the science and the scripture we promise to give it some forethought and notes) and just hit record and then send it off with no retakes, no listening back before publishing (our wonderful pod manager cleans it up of course) no obsessing or worrying about what it will sound like, not tethered to any desired outcome or result. To have this much fun doing this big, exciting but also uncomfortable thing and be at such peace with it. None of this would have been possible 4 years ago.
Before finding freedom from wine. Before finding freedom with my mind.
And so on Fridays, and daily-ish, I celebrate not the things I’ve done or haven’t done. The celebration isn’t dependent on whether the product or service I’ve provided is actually good or not. Or whether I’ve been a good mom, wife, coach, podcast host or _____. Who gets to call that anyway?
Instead, I celebrate and appreciate where I have grown. And I celebrate and appreciate my amazing teachers, coaches and friends who have helped me grow. I’m so grateful to have many in my circle who are lovingly, kindly committed to supporting me in growing in confidence to stand in the light as the real me, as the beautiful masterpiece the Lord created me to be.
Today, I celebrate the simple truth and beauty in what’s possible when I choose courage through vulnerability and choose the discomfort of growth. Choosing courage through vulnerability first allowed me, four years ago, to be radically honest with myself and the Lord about where I was feeling stuck with a wine habit that was taking up way too much space in my life.
Facing the truth that what I valued—meaningful connection to others and God—was in great conflict with how I was showing up in the world. It was so uncomfortable. And yet I’m so grateful for that discomfort because without it change would not have been possible. Without discomfort awareness is not possible. And awareness is the uncomfortable path that leads us to freedom and lasting change if were courageous enough to choose it!
We’re so conditioned by our modern advances to stay distracted and overlook discomfort and hit the quick relief button of choice instead. What’s yours? Wine? Social media? Email? Work? Online shopping? Netflix? Addiction to busy and hustling for worth? Addiction to worry? Yep, that really is a thing. We settle for the cheap trick of instant relief while compounding our discomfort in the long run making it doubly hard not to do the thing that is in direct conflict with what we say we value.
Sister, if you hear nothing else please hear me when I say this. It is not your fault. If you find yourself in the over-drinking, over-thinking, over-shopping, over-social-media-ing, over-working, over-exercising, over-hustling, over-fixing cycle, it is not your fault! It is however your responsibility. And that is the good news.
Taking ownership of where we find ourselves allows for the clearing that points to how we can begin that tiny turn in the other direction. It points us to the way out of stuck through hope, discovery, empowerment and choice. Choice leads to freedom and to trading your life lived by default in the passenger seat of your life and puts you in the driver seat living your life by design!
Courage through vulnerability and discomfort of growth led me to finding freedom from wine over three years ago. It has gifted me to finding freedom from countless other habits and tendencies that were keeping me stuck in my B- life. And over the past few years as a Senior This Naked Mind Coach I’ve had the greatest honor in guiding thousands of women—and men!—out of stuck and into freedom in their own lives.
So today and everyday I celebrate and appreciate discomfort and curiosity. I celebrate and appreciate those with whom I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside on their freedom-in-growth journeys and I celebrate and appreciate those who have graciously agreed to walk alongside me in mine. Discomfort and curiosity are our greatest allies in our busy, easily-distractible world. And though not easy, it’s made infinitely easier when you don’t have to go it alone.
Where are you celebrating and appreciating growth in your life over this past week? If you have trouble finding something let me give you a hint: look for the spaces in your week where you experienced discomfort. Growth is always right next to it just waiting to be discovered as the amazing gift that it is! And when you do, don’t forget to celebrate.
May we never stop growing or celebrating!
As a freedom coach, writer, educator, and speaker, I empower others to find freedom from the alcohol habit that’s keeping them stuck so they can discover who they are, reconnect to their true self, and create a life of their choosing.
certified freedom coach